Talk to Leaders Daily: Growth Comes From Discomfort
You don’t have to answer every call. That idea sounds simple, but it can feel risky when you're trying to grow. For a long time, I thought being available meant being responsible. What I learned instead is that availability can quietly steal your focus.
I had to rethink what it meant to talk to people. Not greetings. Not being polite. I mean the people who “get your attention” and shape how you think, decide, and act. Once I saw that, I realized my growth was being influenced every day, whether I chose it or not.
That’s where the shift began.
Quick Takeaways
Talk to Leaders Daily
I’m a real estate investor. I buy houses and apartments, and I help others invest in long-term assets with strong tax benefits. But my business didn’t really take off until I started applying one simple rule: talk to leaders daily. That mindset shift changed everything—from how I managed time, to who I sought feedback from, to how I built momentum.
You might think growth comes from more information, better tools, or another podcast episode. It doesn’t. Growth comes from choosing who gets your time. Each conversation is either reinforcing your current patterns or helping you change them.
That means every day, you have a decision to make:
- Who gets your attention?
- Who influences your decisions?
- Who holds you accountable?
- Who lets you stay the same?
- Who challenges your comfort?
- Who helps you move forward?
This chapter isn’t about being rude or cutting people off. It’s about being clear. I’ll walk you through what “attention as a choice” really looks like. I’ll explain why talking to people further ahead feels so uncomfortable—and why that discomfort is a signal, not a warning. I’ll show how complacency hides in familiar conversations, and why staying in circles that don’t challenge you leads to stagnation.
Then we’ll focus on how to build daily conversations that push you to grow, make clearer decisions, and gain traction where it matters most.
If you’re stuck or spinning your wheels, don’t start with strategy. Start with your circle. Start with who you're talking to. Start with the uncomfortable truth that leaders aren’t just ahead—they’re available, if you’re willing to stop talking to everyone else.
Attention Is a Daily Choice
I used to think being friendly and accessible was the right way to move through the day. Smile. Greet people. Stay open. But over time, I realized I wasn’t just greeting people—I was giving them influence.
When I say “talking,” I’m not just talking about saying hello. I’m talking about the people who shape your decision making and affect your attitude. As I said before, “The people that you’re talking to on a daily basis need to be people that challenge you.” The turning point for me was understanding that attention is a limited resource, and I was spending it carelessly.
The more intentional I became about who I gave my time to, the sharper my thinking got. I stopped responding to every notification. I stopped lingering in conversations that didn’t move me forward. That shift wasn’t about isolation—it was about alignment.
Here’s what I started to see clearly:
- You don’t have to answer every single call that comes to your phone.
- Being polite doesn’t mean giving people access to your mind.
- Influence isn’t neutral. It nudges your confidence or your hesitation.
- A friend with good intentions can still reinforce your excuses.
- Energy goes where attention flows. So your direction follows.
- Leadership requires filtering, not just absorbing.
That was a hard truth. But it gave me back control over my focus.
You don’t owe everyone your time. You owe your future better decisions. And those decisions are often shaped long before you realize it—by the people you’re speaking with, texting, or silently agreeing with.
As I learned to pause before replying or jumping into conversations, my mindset shifted. I started asking: is this a distraction, or is this direction?
The difference? One keeps you busy. The other keeps you moving.
When I finally owned that distinction, I stopped trying to be liked by everyone and started aligning with people who would help me grow. I realized my daily conversations were either reinforcing where I was or pushing me forward. That’s not a small shift. It’s everything.
Influence Shapes Decisions Faster Than Information
Every conversation you have shapes something. Sometimes it shapes your energy. Other times it shapes your next decision. That’s why I had to stop treating influence like background noise. It wasn’t neutral—it was nudging me in one direction or another.
I often remind people, “The people that you’re talking to on a daily basis need to be people that challenge you.” But for a long time, my conversations didn’t challenge anything. They maintained the status quo.
Here’s the realization: growth didn’t come from more information—it came from better conversations.
There was a moment that made this clear. I was on a call with someone in my old circle—someone who meant well but always wanted to “vent.” The conversation veered toward fear, frustration, and blame. We spent thirty minutes dissecting what was wrong with the market, the tenants, the lenders... everything but our own actions. When the call ended, I felt drained. Worse, I felt stuck. That conversation didn't just take my time. It shaped my attitude. It made risk feel bigger and progress feel smaller. That’s when I knew: I needed to stop letting people co-author my mindset.
So now I run a simple set of checks:
- Does this person help me get clearer, not just vent?
If it’s just mutual frustration, we’re stuck together. - Do they reinforce excuses or raise expectations?
One builds comfort. The other builds action. - Are they consistently doing what I say I want to do?
“Maybe they already have the business you want to have.” - Do they hold themselves accountable—and invite the same from me?
“People that are going to hold you accountable for your mistakes.” - Is this conversation shaping a decision—or delaying one?
Some conversations leave you better equipped. Others leave you spinning. - Would I trade places with them in this area of life?
“Maybe they already have the faith that you want to have.”
When I started using these filters, my decisions changed. Not because someone told me what to do, but because I stopped talking to people who let me stay confused. I found clarity through conversation. And when the conversation shifted, so did my results.
Why Talking to Leaders Feels Uncomfortable
The discomfort didn’t come from the conversations themselves. It came from what they exposed.
I remember the first time I intentionally sat in a room, virtual and otherwise, with people who were clearly further along than me. They already had the business dialed in. Some had the faith I wanted. Others had the family life or discipline I admired. I didn’t say much at first. I listened. And while nothing dramatic happened in that moment, internally it was loud. Every gap showed up. Every excuse I had been quietly carrying felt thin.
That’s when I heard myself think, maybe I don’t belong here yet. That’s usually when people retreat. They go back to familiar conversations where no one challenges them and no one expects more. I almost did the same. But I stayed.
I kept showing up to conversations that stretched me. I asked questions instead of defending where I was. I let people who were ahead influence how I evaluated my own decisions. As I’ve said before, “It’s very uncomfortable to talk to people that are further along than you are.” That discomfort wasn’t rejection. It was exposure.
Here’s the punchline realization: the discomfort wasn’t a sign I was behind, it was proof I was finally in the right room.
Once I saw that, the friction made sense. Leaders force you to confront reality. They don’t let you hide behind vague plans or half-decisions. They reflect back what’s possible, and that contrast can sting.
If you’re feeling that same tension, here are a few checkpoints to keep you steady:
- If a conversation makes you defensive, pause before you exit.
- If you feel smaller, ask what standard you’re being invited to meet.
- If comparison shows up, redirect it into curiosity.
- If you want to retreat, stay one conversation longer.
- If growth feels awkward, you’re likely doing it right.
Not every uncomfortable conversation is useful. But the right ones tend to feel this way at first. When you stop treating discomfort as danger, you start using it as direction.
Daily Conversations Create Momentum
Momentum doesn’t show up from nowhere. It builds through consistent, uncomfortable, growth-focused conversations—the kind where you stop making excuses and start making moves.
One of the most important shifts I made was this: I started talking to people daily who were doing deals, not just discussing them. They didn’t want to trade theories or complaints. They wanted updates. "What did you offer this week?" "How many sellers did you follow up with?" They weren’t mean, but they weren’t going to let me coast. That kind of pressure? It’s productive.
I still remember joining a challenge in the Wealth and Real Estate Facebook Group. Each day, we had to post one thing we did to move a deal forward. The rules were simple. After a week, the truth surfaced—some people, including me, had nothing to show. Watching others stay consistent exposed the real difference. It wasn’t skill. It was daily action. That’s when I got serious.
Here’s what I’ve learned about daily momentum:
- If you want clarity, talk to people who expect action, not just talk.
- "Talk to people on a daily basis that are going to motivate you."
- If your circle isn’t pushing you, your progress is probably stalling.
- Conversations that hold you accountable are worth repeating.
- Small actions, shared aloud, become powerful habits.
It’s not about intensity. It’s about rhythm. One offer a day. One uncomfortable call. One update shared with someone who expects movement. That’s how momentum grows.
If your results are flat, check your calendar. Not your CRM. Not your to-do list. Look at who you’re actually speaking with. Then tighten the circle. Raise the standard. Repeat the habit.
You don’t grow by talking about growth. You grow by showing up differently in the small, repeated moments that compound. Daily.
Choose Your Circle on Purpose
You don’t have to answer every call. That line kicked this whole thing off. By now, I hope you see why it matters. Availability without intention is a trap. It drains your focus, weakens your decisions, and keeps you busy instead of moving.
You’ve heard how I stayed in conversations that kept me comfortable, not accountable. How I had to face the truth about the people who let me stay the same. And how growth-focused conversations gave me traction, especially when others expected real movement.
It wasn’t about cutting people off. It was about filtering who I let in.
"People that are going to hold you accountable for your mistakes" aren’t always easy to find. But once I started talking to those people every day, my decisions changed. My energy changed. My outcomes changed.
If you remember one thing, remember this: growth isn’t about what you know—it’s about who you let shape your decisions.
Here’s your next step: scan your last five conversations. Ask one question for each: Did this person challenge me to act, or allow me to stay the same?
That’s your signal.
You can’t fake momentum. You can only build it. And it starts by choosing your circle on purpose. Every day. Every conversation. Every time.
Close Your Next Deal in 90 Days
Join the FREE Grab the Map Method™ Live Training and discover the proven system that's helped investors close over 300 real estate deals.
About Johnoson Crutchfield
Johnoson Crutchfield is a real estate investor, coach, and host of the Grab the Map podcast. He helps aspiring and active investors move beyond analysis paralysis and take the consistent actions required to close real estate deals.
Drawing from years of hands-on experience, Johnoson teaches practical, real-world strategies focused on finding opportunities, building relationships, securing funding, and making offers. His approach emphasizes weekly execution over endless education, helping investors create momentum through simple, repeatable actions.
As the leader of the Wealth and Real Estate community, Johnoson shares lessons from real transactions and real conversations with lenders, sellers, and investors. He is a strong advocate for local banking relationships, seller financing, and private lending as powerful tools for growing a real estate business.
Through coaching, content, and community, Johnoson has helped investors gain clarity, build confidence, and take meaningful steps toward closing their first—or next—deal.
How to Buy Your First House: A Real Estate Investor’s Checklist
I was driving from Memphis to Tupelo every week. Middle school teacher by day, podcast junkie by night.
Childhood Dreams Build Futures: Lessons from Malika Crutchfield
Malika Crutchfield wants a big family. She says it plainly, like it’s already settled. When asked why, she smiles: “So we can get together.”
Family Money Lessons: Teaching Kids Assets, Liabilities, and Profit
JC kept his promise. A friend was waiting to play Madden, and he didn’t want to let him down. But first, he gave me a few minutes of his morning.
Relationship Repair Skills for Real Estate Investors
The inspector failed the property again. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. I knew the issue he flagged was petty—a loose railing, a missing plate cover.
